More gems from my father’s letters home during college:
On being a role model:
“I was given the privilege of being made a voluntary Civil
Defense Military Instructor, to teach Boy Scouts elements of mayhem and
elementary & advanced treachery. I
get a kick out of the starry-eyed respect they have for me.”
Medical advice for his mother:
By the way, Mom, what’s the matter with your back? Old rheumatiz got ya? Maybe you should lose some weight. If Mrs. Lambert [my landlady] was there she’d
cure you—or kill you. She has an
electric massager that she can train on anybody that complains about a pain. I’d just as soon have a nice gentle burst
from a machine gun as be on the business end of that contraption.”
And then there’s the on-again, off-again story of Bob and
Betty…
“Betty and I had a
big fight today. She started it, so I’m
going to let her cool her heels for 3 or 4 days. I can get 4-to-1 odds off of anybody in the
house that she’ll call up and apologize within 72 hours. Boy, is she going to eat dirt then!”
“Betty has been very nice to me this fall, asks me to
picnics, etc. Sometimes I go and
sometimes not. I don’t give a hoot for
her, but she’s a good cook, and who am I to turn down eats?”
“B. and I are all fixed up.
She was so extra nice to me last week that I decided she must want
something. So I asked her to the
Military Ball (I have to go, you know), and that must have been it, since she
is ornery as ever again now.”
“I am taking Betty to the Military Ball, since that will put
me in good stead with Col. Murphy, who is a good friend and employer of hers... Besides, she’s got more class than any other
girl I know. Not as pretty as Avis, though… Also, Betty has a car.”
Thanks for the grins, Dad!
I miss you!
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